The Ultimate Soul Eater Guide Book
by TheNextAliceOwO
Summary: The gang decides to help Crona and come up with an ultimate guide book with everything from dating to being cool to taking over the world. Chapter 2 Death the Kid: How to be Symmetrical Rated T for safety?
1. How to be Cool

_**A/N:**_ HOLA! I just thought of this idea when I was in bed and I couldn't sleep . That and because I was rewatching some Soul Eater episodes and I was like "if Crona can't deal with it then why don't you help her?!?!"

So here's to my new story XD I tend to have a very short attention span when it comes to writing…

OKAY LET'S GO!!!!

Soul: Being Cool

"Crona," Maka leaned next to the large steel door of Crona's room against the cold, hard brick wall. Her hand fell against her side and she sighed. "Crona, I think you should come out now. Nobody's upset."

Maka heard a sniffle. "Yes they are."

Maka's hands left the rough texture of the wall and she crossed her arms. "Crona, people write depressing poems all the time! And you have a er- talent!"

Crona ignored Maka's statement. "I don't know how to deal with anything… I'm pathetic…"

"Crona?" Maka said, with much concern for her friend.

"Don't –sniff- worry about –sniff- me, Maka," Crona said, her voice muffled through the door. "You should –sniff- go back to class and –sniff- get ready for the next test…"

Maka sighed and left the steel door. Her feet walked up the candle-lit staircase, her face getting frighteningly bright everytime she passed a candle. It's like when you hold a flashlight below your face and scare your cousin. Only, this was a candle, not a flashlight, and she wasn't trying to scare her cousin, she was just concerned.

--

"Crona can't 'deal with it' again?" Stein sighed, spinning slowly in his chair. Maka was standing next to Soul, who was sitting on a table. To the right Black Star was _standing_ on a table and Tsubaki was sitting, not attempting to get him down, and to the left Kid, Liz and Patty were just leaning against the tables.

"I can understand why. I mean she was raised by Medusa, she's made fun of _because_ she was raised by Medusa, _and_ she almost caused one of the death scythes to commit suicide after reading her poem," Tsubaki said.

"I wish he had," Maka said. 'But, nooo, at the last moment he thought that he had a 'loving daughter,' that was going to 'miss him.' In his dreams."

"Okay, group extra credit," Stein said suddenly. Maka lit up at the word "extra credit." Kid , Liz, and Tsubaki showed a little interest, Patty was wondering if "extra credit" had something to do with "giraffe," and Black Star and Soul could've cared less. "I want you guys to write a guide book for Crona to help her through life at Shibusen. Are you guys willing to do it?"

"It's a waste of my time," Soul said, about to leave the room.

"Yeah, I have to keep my reputation as 'the man that will be higher than god.' My fans are waiting," Black Star said, following Soul. ("What fans?" Maka said to Liz, who shrugged hopelessly.)

"Who ever writes the best one gets a 'no homework' pass or cake."

"Okay, we're in for the cake."

--

Soul put down the pencil and stretched his arms. He looked down at pride at his messy handwriting. It was perfect.

"Soul? Can you make dinner?" Maka said, coming into the room with her laundry basket infront of her.

"Sure, why not?" Soul said, brushing past Maka and toward the kitchen.

Maka spotted the sheet of paper on Soul's desk and put down the laundry basket. She picked it up and started reading.

--

**Five Easy Steps to being Cool by Soul Eater Evans**

**Don't take crap from anyone. Cuz those people are just jealous of your coolness. Just stay calm and cool.**

**Don't get into pointless fights. It's just not cool.**

**Dye your hair white. Yes, it is necessary. People with white hair are naturally cool.**

**Don't hit people on the heads in books just because they tell you that you're flat as a chest.**

**Your partner is your life. Protect her and forget everything else. But don't do it stupidly. Protect and look cool doing it.**

Maka sighed. She took out a pen and started writing

--

"Soul! Your show is on!" Maka said.

"Hold on!" Soul called. He glanced down at his paper. There were some comment written in perfect, neat writing. It was definitely Maka.

**Five Easy Steps to being Cool by Soul Eater Evans**

**Don't take crap from anyone. Cuz those people are just jealous of your coolness. Just stay calm and cool. **_That's great, but you spelled 'cause wrong._

**Don't get into pointless fights. It's just not cool.**

**Dye your hair white. Yes, it is necessary. People with white hair are naturally cool. **_Most people would think people with white hair are old…_

**Don't hit people on the heads in books just because they tell you that you're flat as a board. **_For your information, it is _very _offensive!_

**Your partner is your life. Protect her and forget everything else. But don't do it stupidly. Protect and look cool doing it. **_Thanks. By the way, type this up, your handwriting is disgusting._

**-**-

_**A/N:**_ Hahaha… That was kinda lame. Sorry . I have NO IDEA how to be cool actually, because I'm not cool, I'm just ultra hyper x3 Reviews plz? Criticism? Who I should do next, cause I have no idea O.o


	2. How to be Symmetrical

_**A/N:**_ OKAY HERE I GO!!! I was kind of wondering how I should do this because a guide to being symmetrical seemed kind of common… But on second thought, ever since I watched Soul Eater I was OBSESSED with the number 8… So enjoy ^^

Usual disclaimers apply!

--

Back at that awesome mansion of the meister we know as Death the Kid (though some others know him as symmetry-freak) a crisis was taking place. Yes, it had to do with perfection, and yes, liz was caught up in it.

"_Nee-chan,_" Patty's sweet and innocent voice filled the room that Liz was in. "Kid is having another crisis…"

Liz gritted her teeth and walked outside, where a crying, heart-broken, and symmetry-obsessed boy with mismatching sanzu lines was lying on the floor.

"I'm a stupid freak," *sniff* "I can't even write my name equally," *sniff* "I deserve to die…"

"Okay, Kid," Liz lifted him up and patted his back. "First of all, calm down…" God, at these times in her life when she had to deal with Kid and Patty, she felt like a mother. It made her feel old and wrinkly. Like Black Star at the mention of Excalibur.

"B-but," Kid said, snivelling like a stupid wimp. "I can't even write my name evenly" *sniff*

Liz looked at his sheet of paper, which currently read _Death the k-_

"Okay," Liz said. "First, stop crying."

Kid wiped his tears on a tissue he pulled out of nowhere and looked up at Liz.

"Okay, second, I'll let you use my laptop."

~One laptop loading later~

Kid stared at the screen in surprise at it typed all the letters evenly and perfectly.

"I-it's perfect!" Kid sighed with relief. "Thank you, Mommy."

"Whatever," Liz said. "Just shut up so I can do my nails in peace!"

--

_Death the Kid: How to be Symmetrical_

_Dear Crona,_

_It has come to the attention of myself that you are lacking much self confidence. We are currently working to help you. So I must say that I was very willing to help you in this process. Please allow me to introduce you the skills that will help you throughout life._

_Yours truly,_

_Death the Kid_

_HOW TO BE SYMMETRICAL_

_Carry a ruler with you at all times to make sure that things are symmetrical._

_Remember: A symmetrical room is a perfect balance_

_Symmetry formula: Symmetry percentage=Balance^2*100%_

_Make sure all rectangular items are parallel to a flat surface that is opposite_

_There are some tools to help ensure symmetry i.e. tape measure, ruler, scissors, etc._

_Yes it is necessary to purchase these items._

_Make sure clothes are wrinkle-free and incase of accidental wrinkles, bring a portable iron._

_This is the most symmetrical number in the world._

_If any part of body is asymmetrical, fix it immediately_

Kid stopped. He felt as if he forgot something. But he couldn't stop now! At an odd number of all places! Then a very important (to him at least) popped into his head.

_To help the eye become accustomed to symmetry, try symmetry excercises i.e. origami. It really helps._

_Thus I end my advice. Please take heed of it._

--

"Liz?"

"WHAT?! CAN'T I GIVE MYSELF A MANICURE IN PEACE?!" Liz said angrily at the sound of her name.

Kid, who had just entered her room flinched. "I just wanted to ask how Patty was doing on the origami excercises."

"Ask her yourself…"

Kid walked over to Patty's room, where he saw a origami giraffe.

"Heheheh," Patty giggled. "All done!"

"PATTY! We were supposed to do _cranes_ this time! We finished giraffes a couple months ago!" Kid scolded her. "These are important symmetry excercises!"

"I don't wanna do cranes!" Patty complained. "And you should work on being symmetrical yourself, Mr. Mismatched-Sanzu lines!"

Kid started crying on the floor again.

"Whoops," Patty said. "_NEE-CHAN!_"

--

_**A/N:**_ YAY! All done x3 The origami thing happened when my friend and I were working on making cranes, and there was a step that was like "The pieces should now be symmetrical." We were like "KID WROTE THIS BOOK!" And you know some origami things are symmetrical though.

Kayz then, next I'm doing Black Star, any other ideas? REVIEW OR FACE TEH WRATH OF THE ORIGAMI CRANES!!!


	3. Important AN!

_**IMPORTANT A/N!!!!!**_

Okay, for those of you who clicked on this thinking it was a new chapter, I am so so _so_ sorry! I truly am! But recently, I've noticed that with so many fanfics planned and started (ahahaha… I have a lot of idea explosions…) it's really hard to keep track of them all and update. So I'm going to start prioritizing my fanfics so that it's easier to finish them.

The list goes as follows:

_Of Cats and New Students_ (Soul Eater)

The Gift Fic for Sporkie (TWEWY) If you don't know who Sporkie is, look up grawrgrawrninja

_This is NOT Mine_ (Shugo Chara!)

_Someone's Hair is Growing Longer_ (Ouran High School Host Club)

_Seven Souls _(Soul Eater)

_Operation: Romance of my Dreams_ (Gakuen Alice)

_World is Theirs_ (Soul Eater)

_All the World Needs is Us_ (TWEWY)

_The Ultimate Soul Eater Guide Book _(Guess which anime)

And I'll also have some planned fanfics coming up, including the intended three-shot that I showed everyone in _Seven Souls_ and the prize fic for _Someone's Hair is Growing Longer_'s hundreth reviewer, Katarina H. So bare with me guys. I am really really really really really really really really really sorry!

I'll be updating everything every once in a while, but not very often. After I finish number three on the priority list, everything will go back to normal... That is, until I start procrastinating again…

So I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY! DX I feel really bad! But it must be done! I'll get through this as fast as I can so you can all get your wanted updates! So here I end my announcement =( I'm still sorry! DX


	4. Announcement!

_**ANOUNCEMENT!**_

For those of you who actually follow my fanfics, I'm sorry to say that I'm leaving this account and planning on starting fresh at some point. I feel like there's just no motivation with this account and I want to start anew in order to sort things out and move on from past fandoms. Therfore, I will be discontinuing many of the fanfics on here. Sorry

However, if time allows it, I will be continuing some fics such as _Eighth __Time__'__s __a __Charm_ and completely rewriting a fic or two, like _The __Piratical __Adventures __of __Alice __Kirkland_, although it probably won't have the same title anymore.

I hope you guys understand! :) Thanks for the run, I really appreciated it! I might post a link to my new account once I make it, so yeah. It was nice to have you guys reading my stories, and I hope I see some of you on my new account!


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